Where do I start? I guess with the basics… Hi, I’m Deemster_Diva. Maybe you’ve seen me elsewhere on this world wide web, but the is my primary blog. Welcome! What do you need to know about me? Let’s see. I’m 35, live in Los Angeles, am a freelance writer (a recent career change after spending almost a decade in IT), I have a BA in writing and a AA in culinary arts, nothing in this world makes me happier than making fresh tracks after a huge dump on Mammoth Mountain, I’m 6 months smoke free after over 15 years of smoking (Yay!!), I’d spend my life on Phish tour if they only tour year round, I’ve got an awesome Coon Hound named Sweet Jane and as my blog title suggests,  I’m a heroin addict.

But don’t let my track marks fool you, I haven’t met a drug I haven’t liked. As my name infers, I’m a psychonaunt (DMT being my favorite but the almighty L doesn’t fall far behind). I also love mushrooms, 4-ACO-DMT, I love, love, love anything in the

The way I feel about just about everyone ;-)
The way I feel about just about everyone 😉

2c family, 2c-e, 2c-i, 2c-d, 2cb&. In my opinion it’s the best thing to come out of drug research in a long time! Obviously I’m a full blown junky. I’m a card carrying Medical Cannabis user and activist supporting the Compassionate Use Act of 1996, California Proposition 215. I’m a Research Chemical guinea pig. A pill popper. Tried my hand at selling ecstasy for a while, but consumed way more than I could keep in stock, topping out at 24 pills in 21 hours – I miss pressies, molly is crap (although I’ll do it in a pinch). I’ve gone through periods of loving dissociatives like Ketamine and MXE although that’s unfortunately a rare treat these days. For decades of my life, some would have called me an alcoholic. I have mostly put down the hooch for my beloved GHB. But I still do have a soft spot for a beer (or six) or a bottle of wine with dinner. As addicted as I am to substances, I’m almost equally addicted to the needle. I’ve IV’d pretty much every drug imaginable, heroin, meth, cocaine, MDMA, LSD, Mescaline, lots of pills. Although I’m much safer these days. I’ve cut out the pills entirely and always practice harm reduction with every single shot. One slip up and you could be risking your life. Harm reduction is more than a theory. It’s a way of life. And one that I hope all my fellow IV drug users take seriously.

Phish NYE 2011-2012
A pic of me NYE at a a Phish show it MSG.

But with all that drug consumption there is a darker side – addiction is inevitable, and unfortunately communicable diseases are common and when you have track marks like mine, societal prejudice is a daily occurrence. Besides my current mistress heroin, I’ve been addicted cocaine in all forms, benzos (two things I still dabble with) and am in recovery for an out of control addiction with Crystal Methamphetamine, which has been a reoccurring theme in my life. So in short, there isn’t a drug I haven’t met, and fallen in love with.

I don’t believe that just because I’m physically addicted to heroin that I must live the life of stereotypical junky. It’s all to common that addicts begin to believe the negative hype and start living a life in accordance to how society tells them they should live. Resorting to crime, unable to hold jobs, allowing their health to deteriorate, and worst of all, not practicing harm reduction or safe shooting practices. I have hit rock bottom and during that time lived that life, but for the majority of years I’ve used I’ve been gainfully employed, had a robust social life and maintained good relationships with my family.  I believe that it’s our societies fault that many addicts live that way. They are shut off from the rest of society, treated like street-scum, not cared for, outcast and degraded. But I refuse to let society tell me how I should live and I’m determined to have both a happy and successful life while addicted to heroin. It’s a constant struggle. Each day I have to remind myself what’s important and keep heroin in its place. It does have a tendency to make you believe it’s the most important thing in the universe, but it is not. It’s just a drug. As long as I keep that in mind, remind myself what rock bottom was like, put my family and loved ones before all else and not my career succumb to opiate apathy, then I can have the best of both worlds. Proving to the world that it is possible would be my ultimate triumph. But I’m far from saying “I’ve got this”. I know I could slip up any minute and before I realize it my life could be in shambles again. So for now, it’s one day at a time. Except for me, that means moderation 🙂 I believe that to be a Harm Reduction-Sharp Needlesresponsible drug user, one must be an educated drug user. I also love to study drugs, their history, production, cultural impact, societal stereotypes and prejudice and their effects human body, cross-interactions, bioavailabiliy and different RoA’s. But most importantly, harmreduction. As an active IV drug user, I practice harm reduction religiously each and every time I inject. My hope and my prayer is that we can get all addicts as equally dedicated to the cause. It’s the only way we’ll ever be able to show the world we’re responsible. No dirty needles on streets, no sharing needles, a clean needle with each use, Narcan in every home. It’s so critical to each user’s individual health and the health of the IV drug using community as a whole. I shared needles with one person in my life, my boyfriend for three years, who had only shared with one other person, his best friend. And now we all have Hepatitis C. It’s never okay to share. Not even one time. You just never know. I thought for sure, 100% that I wouldn’t get anything. But I’ve learned my lesson. One time and years of diligent harm reduction were washed down the drain. So please, please, please… practice harm reduction, support your local needle exchange, call for government funded programs, get involved and help America take care of its own people. We all deserve life.

But I’m not that one dimensional. I tend to obsess over many things, drugs, sex, socks, music, snowboarding, writing, whatever the flavor of the day is. I’m a die-hard Phish Phan for life and spend my summers on tour as much as possible.

But as much as I love Phish, variety is the spice of life. If you checked my iPod’s “most recent” playlist, it would probably be a sampling of Phish, STS9, The Disco Biscuits, Talking Heads, Umphrey’s McGee, Galactic, Lou Reed, The Rolling Stones, Galactic, Trombone Shorty, Wide Spread Panic, Zach Deputy, Block Head, Thievery Corporation, A Tribe Called Quest, The Roots, Bassnecter, Parliament-Funkadelic, Prince, George Clinton, Skrillex, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, David Bowie, Depeche Mode, DJ Shadow, Primus, Big Gigantic,  Medeski Martin & Wood, Bootsy Collins, Dopapod, Diplimates of Solid Sound, Funkadelic, EOTO, Garage a Trois, Jimmy Hendrix, Billy Joel, Oysterhead, The Funky Meters, The New Mastersounds, Pretty Lights, Radio Head, Pink Flyod, The Smiths, Sublime, Tom Petty, Vida Blue, Warren Zevon, Muddy Waters and whatever most recent flavor of the month is.

DiamondThighHighOkay, let’s see… Drugs? Check. Rock n’ Roll? Check. Sex? (Do I really need to tell you I love sex? Chances are likely you’ve already seen more of me than I’d care to think about. Whateva, glow sticks are a girls best friend. That picture was fuckin’ hot.) Sex? Given. I believe the only other thing worth noting is that I have the worlds largest, most fabulous sock collection. Don’t believe me? Pft. Check out Sock Junky and Sock Junky II (or CLICK HERE for the still photographs) and get just a taste of my glorious sox – ’cause let’s face it, heels are soooo common. Give me a pair of crocheted thigh-highs any day of the week. The perfect ménage à trois of style, comfort and sex appeal.

Like my blog? Let me know! I’d love to hear from you. Are you a heroin or drug addict going through similar experiences? Reach out and get to know me. I love getting to know others who have had similar experiences in life. And please, check out all of my blog. There’s lots of fun things to look at and do. A video section, a humor section, lots of photographs, hiaku, quizes, music, heroin related games, news stories…. and the list goes on. Take a look around! I bet there’s a least enough material to keep you busy for a few hours during those slow times at work. It’s okay, I won’t tell 😉 My email address is posted below – drop me a line and introduce yourself!


❤ ☮ & ♪♫♪


8 thoughts on “About

  1. i deep in love in your page
    anyway i’m addicted of heroin only sniff and take all types of drugs
    but i want to say something i lost all friends, they leave me when they knew i’m fall in heroin,
    is this fair ??
    i think they are racist, not different of racisim of colored or religions….etc, the hate is hate
    sorry to bother you but i want to take out of me all these words


  2. if i could like this post three time i would. thank you so much for sharing so much about yourself and i’m so glad you found this blog a place where you can share with likeminded people. you know, i’ve been around the block a few times and i’ve never even heard of a person doing 7 grams a days regularly. i had a dealer that did 4g/day and heard of someone else who did 4g/day, i’ve had a 3g/day habit, but that’s the largest i’ve ever known in any of my circles. so wow sister! i know this is obvious, but you really ought to start weaning yourself down from that! i know you already know that and i’m in no way judging you for it. most people would get there if they had the means to sustain it. don’t get me wrong, i’m not judging you in any way whatsoever. but i know you will be happier if you can bring it down to a more managable level where you have time to fit other things in your life besides heroin because i know with 100% certainty that you will be happier and have a more full-filled life without heroin being as all consuming in your life as it no doubt is now. sex work is dangerous because it gives you access to so much cash (and yes i know from personal experience) being a high-end call girl feels like a dream come true financial for a while. and it is! so long as you are able to afford the other things that you want in life too and put the rewards of being an escort into enhancing your life, like going on trips you wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford, or investing in a home or education. i would love, love, love, love, love to be able to continue this conversation but i’ve got to get off my computer for a moment, but please contact me at deemsterdiva@gmail.com. i’d love to hear more of your story and share mutual experiences! i look forward to hearing your comments on this blog as well! please feel free to leave comments on any post you feel has value to you! i look forward to hearing your comments!

    peace and love,


  3. Hello, my name name is Sam and I’m a 19 year old boy and a heroin addict from Portland OR and I stumbled across your blog when I googled “white vs black heroin” to prove a point and I was impressed. A lot of people struggle with this, but nobody is nearly as open about it as you are on this blog. It was refreshing to hear an opinion that doesn’t try to
    1.) Sound professional and anti-personal like a doctor 2.) know-it-all recovering junkie who exaggerates their past and judges people who don’t follow their path 3.) a helpless victim forced to do heroin. You give an honest approach and I can relate a lot. I’ve been an IV user for 5 years, living on the streets, in jail, in rehab, trap houses, and finally with a “sugar daddy” I met through a degrading career of prostitution that started over a year ago. Our heroin in Portland averages 80%-90% pure and $10 a point, $80 a Gram and $180 a Ball (from reliable connections) my tolerance got out of control once I had access to cash and now my habit sits at 5-7 grams a day. Sorry if I sound self centered or if the Portland “heroin statistics” were boring, but I hope this helped introduce myself like you said and again, thank you for finally making a place where people can be open about their situation

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Thanks so much for stopping by and for appreciating the blog! When I read this I feel that all the work I put into the blog has been worthwhile and served its purpose. So thank you very much! I’d be happy to talk to you anytime and answer any questions you have. Feel free to hit me up here or email me at deemsterdiva@gmail.com. You are right, it has been a rough summer. But I’m trying to turn things around and put my life back into some kind of order. Greg’s passing absolutely devastated me. It destroyed every part of me. It hasn’t been easy, learning how to cope with such a life-shattering loss. Although I’ll never “get over” or forget him, I’m hoping time can at least help me develop better coping skills. In the meantime, there’s nothing to do but put one foot in front of the other and just get by right now. I keep reminding myself that I still have a life to live and that it can be full again and that I can reach people and help this world be a little bit more understanding and accepting, even of those who are different than the societal norm. Hopefully I can do that through my blog. I know some read it and disagree with every word I write and hate me for writing it. But knowing there are readers like you out there who appreciate it and understand it, makes it all worthwhile. So feel free to reach out to me at anytime! I’m eternally grateful for your support!


  5. Hey DD, it’s Patrick-scott, I just wanted to say hi, I started filling this out about 6-9 months ago but never got it completed & then I got sidetracked because of life in general. I’ve now got more time & will be able to go through everything & fill it out correctly. I’ve been following you since I got lucky enough to stumble across your blog. I love it & I have so many questions & things I’d love to speak with you about, hopefully soon. I know you’ve had a rough summer & my thoughts have been w/you even though we don’t really know each other that well. I have to get to work right now but I’m gonna pick this back up when I get off, I actually can’t wait, you’re doing something amazing here & it’s just so easy for me to get engrossed in all of it. On that note I’ve gotta get, hope you recieve this.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you! I’m glad you like it! It seems like there is this unspoken law that all heroin talk has to be serious, geared towards recovery or stricter law and spit with hatred. Is is even logical to hate a chemical so much? But there are enough people our there who’s lives are touched by heroin, in one way or another, that there deserves to be a place for people to have a non-biased, open forum for discussion. I know that I’m just one little blog, but I hope more and more people who are interested in the subject, even if just on a theoretic level, will find my blog and enjoy it. I want it to be entertaining as much as educational. If you ever have any suggests or comment, please send them over! I’m always looking to improve it 🙂


  7. Hi, I just found your blog by an accident of sorts when I was checking out the “Haiku” tag on the wordpress reader and then your Haiku and the name of your blog “leaped incandescent” from the page. Intrigued, I knew that I had to come and see a blog with a title like yours.
    To be totally honest I was expecting something totally different. I suppose in many respects I was fully prepared to see a “car crash”, but how wrong I was. Your blog is very honest, brave, humorous and above all else very intelligent and well informed.
    It’s good to know that there are blogs like yours out there that can be positive about drugs and drug use whilst still maintaining a healthy approach to the education and safe use of substances.
    I will eventually have a more thorough look at your blog when I get the chance and know doubt I will leave some more happy crazy comments like I have already done on a couple of your pages, although the two aforementioned comments seem to be currently residing in “Moderation”, please do be gentle with them.
    Oh also… anyone who likes Hendrix, Prince and Muddy Waters is sure to be a good sort as far as I’m concerned, although I am worried about your fondness for The Smiths and Radiohead (little yellow smiley thingy face that is winking)…
    Keep writing, Be Happy…



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