About

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First things first… here is the link to the about me second on my current blog! 🙂

ABOUT ME

The obligatory About Me section. Well, if you really want to know “about me” you’ve come to the right place. All of the gritty, dirty, probably should stay secret details about my life are here in these pages – which is, summed up, the point of this blog. This is a blunt and frank account of one of our cultures most taboo topics – heroin use. I am a heroin addict. A junky, if you will. I am not here to promote heroin use or any drug use. I’m not here to sensationalize heroin. I’m not here to tell you my tale of redemption and recovery. I’m here, in part, to give a first-person report on what the experience is like for me. Heroin addicts have been given a fairly narrow stereotype. And while certain characteristics of that stereotype are definitely founded in reality, I’m here to add some depth to that picture. I know that in most cases the name Heroin Is My Heroin will conjure up some speculation on what you will find in this blog. I invite you to scrap whatever preconceived notions you’ve already developed and view this blog assumption free! No matter what walk of life you come from, you will most likely come across content on these pages that you will disagree with, find offensive, be shocked by, condemn me for or find just out-right repulsive. Don’t worry, I get that a lot 😉

My mission statement for this project has shifted slightly over time, but it always comes down to three main objectives. 1.) To give a brutely honest, no-holds-barred account of my life, specifically in regards to my addictions. I hold back no secrets on these pages. My life is an open blog! 2.) To educate people about the realities of drug use. This includes giving non-users a better understanding of an addict’s perspective, as well as helping users be as safe as possible while engaging in a very dangerous activity. 3.) To entertain. We talk about some pretty heavy stuff here, and every drama needs some comic relief! If you think I take the subject too lightly at times, I’d be happy to point you in the direction of some heart-wrenching introspective posts. But for those of us who live the horrors of addiction, some levity can be very therapeutic. I mean, come on people… it’s just heroin!

So that’s my blog in a nutshell. Now, what would you like to know about me??

Let’s see. I’m a transplanted Los Angeleno. It’s been my home for 22 years now, so I figure that basically makes me a native. I’m a freelance writer (a semi-recent career change after spending almost a decade in IT). I have a BA in writing and an AA in culinary arts. I love the ocean and the mountains and am an avid competitive sailor and snowboarder. I’m a certified yoga instructor. I’ve run several triathlons. I would spend all of my life on Phish tour if only they would tour year round! And, as I mentioned, I also happen to be addicted to heroin.

But don’t let my track marks fool you, I haven’t met a drug I haven’t liked, fallen in love with, been addicted to, then inevitably let ruin my life. I’m a full blown junky, tweaker, psychonaut, cokehead, pothead and research chemical guinea pig. You could say I’m an alcoholic, but I put down the bottle for a GHB dropper many years ago. But nothing can substitute a cold beer on a hot day.

When you have such a proclivity for mass chemical consumption then research, education quickly become a way of life. I’ve spent many years learning about drugs, their history, production, pharmacology, interactions, social and cultural impact and, most important, harm reduction. It can be hard to get straight facts about a drug like heroin. Everyone wants to sensationalize it, “Just don’t do it, it will kill you!” Dangers are hyped, rumors begin, and myths spread like wildfire. Spreading misinformation, no matter how well-intentioned, doesn’t benefit anyone. I try to provide only research-based fact on any topic discussed on this blog.

I have to give a shout-out of gratitude to everyone who has helped me develop this blog over the years. I couldn’t have created something like this without an active and devoted readership. Your outpour of support and extremely touching, personal communication has motivated me to keep this site up and active. It’s very gratifying to know there are other people out there who understand what I’m trying to do and trust me with their own personal stories. I appreciate each and every one of you! I love to hear from my readers. I encourage anyone to reach out with any questions, comments, suggestions or just to connect. In addition, I’m always open to guest-bloggers. If you have any interest in contributing your own bit here, please reach out!

So, that’s my blog in a nutshell. In addition to the Blog Post section, there is enough content here to keep you busy for days. Videos, humor, games, haiku, quizzes, music, news stories… and the list goes on. Take a look around. Though you may have to wait till after work, as I’m sure this URL is blocked by several work firewalls 😉 Oh… and if you happen to have a sock fetish, then you’ve really come to the right place!

As always readers…

❤ ☮ & ♪♫♪

Deemster_Diva
phishconaut@gmail.com

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12 thoughts on “About

  1. And it’s awesome to see another dope fiend who too loves research chemicals! I’ve tried more RC’s than I have had hot meals, haha!

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  2. My opiate use started via prescriptions, starting at age 15, Going from Codeine, to Tramadol, Dihydrocodeine, Subutex patches, and Subutex alongside codeine. I was taken off Subutex and codeine at age 17 (Started on it at 16) and the moved on to Amiltryptaline.

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  3. Only discovered your blog recently, but I love it! I’m a ketamine addict myself, but have a heroin ‘habit’ (Smoked, never IV’d myself) that I’ve kept up for about 3 years (A few smokes once every 3 weeks, just about, for 3 years) which I think is fast falling in to an addiction / dependence.

    I too am a major psyhconaut, loving DMT / Changa, Ayahuasca, Magic Mushrooms, 4-ACO-DMT, LSA (Especially when combined with MAOIs, it truly is a sacrament) and Salvia.

    I love free / illegal raves, and frequently go around Europe following big illegal Teknivals. I love the music of American trad folk musicians (Doc Bogs, Doc Watson, Roscoe Holcomb, to name a few, 1930s to 1960s) and folk revival music (Dave Van Ronk, Dylan, Donovan, Phil Ochs, Tom Paxton, to name a few) while also loving Dark / Forest Psytrance, Hard Trance, Neurofunk DnB, HardTekno, and Tribe Tekno, as well as 90s Big Beat

    20 years of age, started using drugs (Begun with LSD) at 13, most of my work has been in labour, but I suffer with scoliosis, arthritis, and myofascial syndrome in the back, causing me chronic back pain, meaning most work is totally out of the question for me (Even holding a shopping bag in my hand for 5+ minutes causes me great back and neck pain)

    Just thought I’d share something about myself, seeing as you’ve been sharing a lot about your self 🙂 Peace!

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  4. i deep in love in your page
    anyway i’m addicted of heroin only sniff and take all types of drugs
    but i want to say something i lost all friends, they leave me when they knew i’m fall in heroin,
    is this fair ??
    i think they are racist, not different of racisim of colored or religions….etc, the hate is hate
    sorry to bother you but i want to take out of me all these words

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  5. if i could like this post three time i would. thank you so much for sharing so much about yourself and i’m so glad you found this blog a place where you can share with likeminded people. you know, i’ve been around the block a few times and i’ve never even heard of a person doing 7 grams a days regularly. i had a dealer that did 4g/day and heard of someone else who did 4g/day, i’ve had a 3g/day habit, but that’s the largest i’ve ever known in any of my circles. so wow sister! i know this is obvious, but you really ought to start weaning yourself down from that! i know you already know that and i’m in no way judging you for it. most people would get there if they had the means to sustain it. don’t get me wrong, i’m not judging you in any way whatsoever. but i know you will be happier if you can bring it down to a more managable level where you have time to fit other things in your life besides heroin because i know with 100% certainty that you will be happier and have a more full-filled life without heroin being as all consuming in your life as it no doubt is now. sex work is dangerous because it gives you access to so much cash (and yes i know from personal experience) being a high-end call girl feels like a dream come true financial for a while. and it is! so long as you are able to afford the other things that you want in life too and put the rewards of being an escort into enhancing your life, like going on trips you wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford, or investing in a home or education. i would love, love, love, love, love to be able to continue this conversation but i’ve got to get off my computer for a moment, but please contact me at deemsterdiva@gmail.com. i’d love to hear more of your story and share mutual experiences! i look forward to hearing your comments on this blog as well! please feel free to leave comments on any post you feel has value to you! i look forward to hearing your comments!

    peace and love,
    D_D

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  6. Hello, my name name is Sam and I’m a 19 year old boy and a heroin addict from Portland OR and I stumbled across your blog when I googled “white vs black heroin” to prove a point and I was impressed. A lot of people struggle with this, but nobody is nearly as open about it as you are on this blog. It was refreshing to hear an opinion that doesn’t try to
    1.) Sound professional and anti-personal like a doctor 2.) know-it-all recovering junkie who exaggerates their past and judges people who don’t follow their path 3.) a helpless victim forced to do heroin. You give an honest approach and I can relate a lot. I’ve been an IV user for 5 years, living on the streets, in jail, in rehab, trap houses, and finally with a “sugar daddy” I met through a degrading career of prostitution that started over a year ago. Our heroin in Portland averages 80%-90% pure and $10 a point, $80 a Gram and $180 a Ball (from reliable connections) my tolerance got out of control once I had access to cash and now my habit sits at 5-7 grams a day. Sorry if I sound self centered or if the Portland “heroin statistics” were boring, but I hope this helped introduce myself like you said and again, thank you for finally making a place where people can be open about their situation

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  7. Thanks so much for stopping by and for appreciating the blog! When I read this I feel that all the work I put into the blog has been worthwhile and served its purpose. So thank you very much! I’d be happy to talk to you anytime and answer any questions you have. Feel free to hit me up here or email me at deemsterdiva@gmail.com. You are right, it has been a rough summer. But I’m trying to turn things around and put my life back into some kind of order. Greg’s passing absolutely devastated me. It destroyed every part of me. It hasn’t been easy, learning how to cope with such a life-shattering loss. Although I’ll never “get over” or forget him, I’m hoping time can at least help me develop better coping skills. In the meantime, there’s nothing to do but put one foot in front of the other and just get by right now. I keep reminding myself that I still have a life to live and that it can be full again and that I can reach people and help this world be a little bit more understanding and accepting, even of those who are different than the societal norm. Hopefully I can do that through my blog. I know some read it and disagree with every word I write and hate me for writing it. But knowing there are readers like you out there who appreciate it and understand it, makes it all worthwhile. So feel free to reach out to me at anytime! I’m eternally grateful for your support!

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  8. Hey DD, it’s Patrick-scott, I just wanted to say hi, I started filling this out about 6-9 months ago but never got it completed & then I got sidetracked because of life in general. I’ve now got more time & will be able to go through everything & fill it out correctly. I’ve been following you since I got lucky enough to stumble across your blog. I love it & I have so many questions & things I’d love to speak with you about, hopefully soon. I know you’ve had a rough summer & my thoughts have been w/you even though we don’t really know each other that well. I have to get to work right now but I’m gonna pick this back up when I get off, I actually can’t wait, you’re doing something amazing here & it’s just so easy for me to get engrossed in all of it. On that note I’ve gotta get, hope you recieve this.

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  9. Thank you! I’m glad you like it! It seems like there is this unspoken law that all heroin talk has to be serious, geared towards recovery or stricter law and spit with hatred. Is is even logical to hate a chemical so much? But there are enough people our there who’s lives are touched by heroin, in one way or another, that there deserves to be a place for people to have a non-biased, open forum for discussion. I know that I’m just one little blog, but I hope more and more people who are interested in the subject, even if just on a theoretic level, will find my blog and enjoy it. I want it to be entertaining as much as educational. If you ever have any suggests or comment, please send them over! I’m always looking to improve it 🙂

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  10. Hi, I just found your blog by an accident of sorts when I was checking out the “Haiku” tag on the wordpress reader and then your Haiku and the name of your blog “leaped incandescent” from the page. Intrigued, I knew that I had to come and see a blog with a title like yours.
    To be totally honest I was expecting something totally different. I suppose in many respects I was fully prepared to see a “car crash”, but how wrong I was. Your blog is very honest, brave, humorous and above all else very intelligent and well informed.
    It’s good to know that there are blogs like yours out there that can be positive about drugs and drug use whilst still maintaining a healthy approach to the education and safe use of substances.
    I will eventually have a more thorough look at your blog when I get the chance and know doubt I will leave some more happy crazy comments like I have already done on a couple of your pages, although the two aforementioned comments seem to be currently residing in “Moderation”, please do be gentle with them.
    Oh also… anyone who likes Hendrix, Prince and Muddy Waters is sure to be a good sort as far as I’m concerned, although I am worried about your fondness for The Smiths and Radiohead (little yellow smiley thingy face that is winking)…
    Keep writing, Be Happy…

    Mark

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