Heroin Humor

It depresses me that whenever heroin is in the media, or portrayed on TV, or blogged about,  or sung about, or written about, or talked about amongst friends, or referenced in anyway whatsoever anytime, anywhere it’s always such a downer. Let’s face it, there are definitely some comical things about drug culture and heroin use specifically. So, in order to bring more levity to an otherwise obscenely heavy topic… I’ve put together a list of the top ten heroin jokes! I know, lots of people will say this is in bad taste, but those people probably shouldn’t be reading my blog anyway, unless they are just looking to fuel their fire.

The only people more desperate are tweekers search for the last peice of cyrstal in the carpet
The only people more desperate are tweakers search for the last piece of crystal in the carpet.

So, without further ado..

Top Ten Heroin One-Liners!

1. Junkies can find a needle in a haystack

2. You know your 11 year old nephew has a competitive streak when you give him heroin and he doesn’t flinch when the needle goes in.

3. I think the surest way to get over a fear of needles is to try heroin.

4. Just watched “True Life: I’m Addicted to Heroin” and now I’m high on heroin. Just kidding. I didn’t watch “True Life: I’m Addicted to Heroin”.

5. Always get back on the horse unless the horse is slang for heroin.

6. The Cow was bummed because he had just scored some heroin.

7. Someone told me shooting heroin up your rectum is addictive. I think putting anything up your rectum is addictive.

8. I am so relaxed since i quit drinking. I think the heroin may be helping.

9. My friend has Parkinson’s disease and is addicted to heroin. He can’t seem to shake the habit.

10. Why is heroin better than a man (or woman)? Heroin doesn’t care about your looks, as long as you have good veins.

Humor-Vagina TracksKnow any other good heroin jokes? Feel free to post them in the comments section 🙂

Meth Joke Bonus Content!

Q: What’s the difference between a crackhead and a tweeker?

A: The crackhead will steal your shit and bounce, the tweeker will steal your shit and then help you look for it.


Want more heroin related humor? Check out The Humor in Heroin in my Just for Fun Section! Jokes, Comics, Videos, On-liners and more!


2 thoughts on “Heroin Humor

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s